Kevil walked slowly through the small park, not wanting to disturb the silence of the early evening. His eyes stared forward almost sightlessly - his feet knew the way. He passed row after row of markers, then turned, counting absently.

The grave was small and its marker plain, but the site had been carefully tended. He knelt carefully, brushing away a light dusting of dirt and sand, reading its legend from memory as much as from the stone: "Darin Vindran, Silkfingers: Forever Free."

Kevil looked down at the rose in his hand, the pale yellow bloom cut by his own hand, from his own bush. He kissed its soft petals, then laid the flower at the marker's base. He sat back on his heels.

"Darin," he whispered. "How can it have been twenty years? It seems only weeks ago that I held you in my arms..." Tears filled his eyes, and one spilled over, sliding unheeded down his face. "I still miss you. Why did you have to die?"

His hand touched the cold letters carved into the stone as if Darin might somehow feel the caress. "Bright Lady, I miss you..." He sat, looking at the grave, lost in bittersweet memory. A soft step startled him out of his reverie, and he looked up. "Missa," he said, blinking in confusion, "what are you doing here?"

Her face unusually sober, she knelt next to him, reaching to put her own vibrant two-colored rose next to his. "Good evening, Mish," she drawled, "how lovely to see you. Darin's grave is looking well; have you been keeping it up?"

Kevil winced, though her tone was mild. "Forgive me," he said softly.

Missa leaned over to kiss his cheek affectionately, silently granting him forgiveness. She leaned against him, wedging herself under his arm. "Where's Loria?"

Kevil draped his arm comfortably over Missa's shoulders. "She spent the afternoon with Master Diya. I expect her home for dinner, if you have a message..."

Missa snorted. "I'd think by now you could take the liberty of using his name."

Kevil shrugged, ignoring the flutter in his stomach. "I would not wish to give offense."

Missa twisted around to look at him with exaggerated disbelief. "He's your wife's lover, Kevil. If you don't give him his name soon, he's likely to think you don't approve."

Kevil's lips twisted into something resembling a smile. "Meddlesome mouse," he said. "Are you pleased with the fruit of your labors?"

Missa snuggled against his side, laughing smugly as if she were once again a child escaping her chores. "Oh, yes, very pleased. They'll be good for each other."

"Meddlesome mouse," he repeated, laughter in his tone, and she giggled in response.

They sat for a few minutes in companionable silence before she spoke again. "Kevil, n'shava..." She hesitated. "Have you had any lovers, since Darin, who were men?"

Kevil shook his head silently, his eyes fastened blindly on Darin's grave marker.

"Why not? I know you've had offers... My brother, for one."

Kevil smiled sadly. "Attiah is a good friend. He did not deserve to have to carry Darin's baggage, d'va?"

Missa huffed briefly. "Almost word-for-word the excuse you gave him. Do you have trouble keeping them all straight, or do you use that same one every time?"

Kevil looked down at her, blinking in astonishment. "Missa?"

"Well, really, Kevil! Poor Atti... It took me weeks to convince him to take you at face value, that he hadn't offended you."

Kevil shook his head, bewildered. "He had not. But I do not desire men, Missa. You know that."

"You keep saying that, n'shava, but if it was true, why didn't you just tell Atti that? He would've understood that. You don't really believe Darin was the only man you could ever desire, do you?"

Kevil swallowed, opened his mouth, and closed it again, shifting uncomfortably while Missa waited in merciless silence. Finally, he sighed, his voice low. "I meant what I told Attiah, Missa. It would not have been fair to take him to my bed when I would have been trying to see Darin's ghost in his face, d'va?"

"Oh, I understand, Kevil." Her soft, sympathetic tone belied the harshness of her words. "You were hiding behind Darin's memory because you were afraid."

Kevil shook his head. "No, that is not... Missa, why are you bringing this up now? That was years ago."

Missa sighed, touching his cheek gently. "I'm just using Atti as an example, Kevil. You haven't loved any other men since then, either." She shook her head, looking at him keenly. "You're still hiding." Kevil found himself caught in the net of her warm, dark eyes. "You're still afraid. I want to know what you're afraid of."

With heroic effort, Kevil tore his gaze away, focusing on his hand, on the ring Loria had placed there. "When I realized my feelings for Loria," he whispered to the deep-set sapphire, "when I searched my heart and realized it was shavalin..." He swallowed, absently rubbing the ring's smooth band with his thumb. "She was scarcely out of swaddling when he died, Missa. How could I love her so much, how could they be in my heart together when they were strangers to each other?"

He shivered, remembering. "I was terrified," he confessed. "I love her more than my own life, but... What if she made me forget him? I did not think I could stand it, Missa."

He swallowed hard. "Another man," he said, his voice barely louder than a breath, "how much easier would it be, to let them merge in my mind, to let the new replace the old?" He trailed off, shivering, his eyes full of tears.

Missa's voice, when she spoke, was rough with emotion. "Kev... Oh, Kevil, n'shava, no. No, you're wrong. What you and Darin had... you don't just forget that kind of love, Kevil." She wrapped her arms around him comfortingly. "You'll always love him," she said firmly. "Always. No one and nothing is going to make you forget."

She put a hand under his chin and turned his face toward hers again. Her eyes were tearful and soft as they met his, despite the strength of her grip. "You have a large heart, Kevil. Darin will make room for others, without deserting you." Her eyes searched his face for a moment, and then she wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek. "It's been twenty years, Kev. I know you'll never forget him, but don't you think he'd have wanted you to stop mourning him by now?"

Kevil's eyes widened and he froze, her words resonating through his mind. His throat closed, and suddenly he crumpled into Missa's arms, sobbing with reaction.

Missa held him, rocking him gently as he shuddered through his grief and fear, her fingers gently stroking the curls of his hair. "Shh..." she whispered. "It's all right, n'shava. It's all right..."

Eventually he calmed, pulling away to look at her with a wry - if somewhat tear-streaked - smile. "Mouse," he said in a tone of teasing accusation, "always wriggling yourself into crevices and corners you should not be able to fit into..." He lifted a hand to brush a stray wisp of hair from her face.

She smiled faintly. "It does seem to be my talent," she agreed. "My father despaired that I declined to join the other family business."

Kevil chuckled. "Va." He sighed and pulled himself to his feet, then offered a hand to Missa. "Thank you," he said solemnly. "I will... think on what you have said."

She took his hand and pulled herself gracefully up. "Good. I hate to see you denying your own heart."

He grinned somewhat foolishly as they strolled down the row toward the central path. "Loria certainly did not long allow me to deny my feelings for her."

Missa glanced at him sidelong, smiling slyly. "She's been good for you, n'shava. There's no denying that."