She stands before you naked - you can see it, you can taste it
But she comes to you light as the breeze
You can drink or you can nurse it - it don't matter how you worship
As long as you're down on your knees

Her hand raised to his face, and he turned into the caress. He took her hand in his own, looking into the depths of her clear grey eyes as he brushed her fingers with his lips. Carefully, as if she were made of spun glass, he pulled her closer, reaching an almost-trembling hand to touch her smooth white hair -

He woke with a gasp and lay for a moment silent in the dark, torn between trying to recover the dream and being afraid she'd sense it, somehow.

So I knelt there at the delta, at the alpha and the omega
At the cradle of the river and the seas
And like a blessing come from heaven, for something like a second,
I was healed, and my heart was at ease

It had felt good, he thought, to place himself in her hands, to relinquish control. "I am at your command," he'd said, and meant it, and for one brief moment, the feeling of rightness had descended upon him, before the fear had come crashing back upon it.

He recalled the conversation they'd had only hours ago, replaying moments that stuck in his head over and over, trying to decipher their meaning. "My dear," she had called him. She'd blushed when he complimented her. And the look in her eyes as she'd left him here in this room... He thought, if he had dared, she might have allowed a kiss just then. But then again, perhaps not.

So close... Angrily, he turned on the bed and punched the cool feather pillow, determined to sleep.

And you're weak and you're harmless and you're sleeping in your harness
And the wind's going wild in the trees
And it's not exactly prison, but you'll never be forgiven
For whatever you've done with the keys

He was running in the woods, being chased, and they were closing in, and he was trying to... Trying to change, but he couldn't find it... A wave of helplessness nearly tangible washed over him and brought him to his knees. As he stumbled to regain his feet he heard them, and looked up to see -

Lying in the dark, heart pounding with reaction, he thought of what they had told him - that he'd been a werewolf, a friend of theirs, and wondered what it all meant, damning again the blank space in his mind that hampered his every step. He wondered if there were abilities that were once his - abilities that might have saved him if they hadn't been somehow stifled. He wondered if he'd ever recover them. Wondered if recovering them would be worth the price.

It's dark and it's snowing; oh my love I must be going
The river is starting to freeze
And I'm sick of pretending; I'm broken from bending
I've lived too long on my knees

It would soon be too late, he thought, staring in to the darkness. Every moment he lingered would make it harder to leave. He'd even told her he wanted to stay, and it was true, a truth that ached in the deepest recesses of his heart. Even if it weren't for her, he thought, he felt at home here in this city in a way he'd never felt before. Already he had tried to leave several times, and let them hold him back, though they wouldn't have stopped him if he'd been truly bent on going. He should, he knew, leave. Take the danger away from this place, away from the friends he hadn't known he'd had. But soon, very soon, it would be too late.

Unexpectedly, the thought eased him. She'd smiled, and told him the first battle was won. Staring into the darkness, he thought, Yes. He would stay. He'd been running too long, and here, here in this city - in this Tower - there were things, people, worth fighting for.

Inevitably, his thoughts turned to her again.

And she dances so graceful, and your heart's hard and hateful
And she's naked but that's just a tease
And you turn in disgust from your hatred and your love
And she comes to you light as a breeze

If he'd dared, he might have kissed her this evening. He played it out in his mind, eyes closed, trying to feel it. And yet, he thought, she might not have allowed it. She wasn't a girl, playing games, but she was waiting for something. He had to trust her, completely. Had to put himself into her hands and trust in her not to turn him over to them. To have her - to be hers - he would have to put aside the tight knot of anger and fear that had been at his core ever since he'd realized they were tracking him.

He wanted to put aside the fear and mistrust. He hated it, hated himself for having to cringe in fear from every friendly face. But what could he do, he wondered bitterly? Even she had pointed out that friendly faces might be masks.

Angrily, he straightened the tangled bedding.

There's blood on every bracelet - you can see it, you can taste it
And it's please baby, please baby, please
And she says, drink deeply pilgrim but don't forget there's still a woman
Beneath this resplendent chemise

He was chained to his missing memory, and to his newfound feelings that he didn't dare trust or even believe. He wanted so badly to trust her... He wanted to touch her, to hold her, to lie next to her in this bed that was big enough for two. He wanted to open his mind to her and let her dig out the missing pieces... He wanted to believe he could do these things and still emerge whole.

But could he? He'd given her what seemed safe, and she'd pressed him until he gave her more. She seemed so sincere, concerned not only for her friend lost in his mind, but also for him, lost without a past. Was she only waiting until he'd given himself to her before crushing him?

Worse, in the darkness, he wondered: Would she give him what he wanted, but deny what he needed?

So I knelt there at the delta, at the alpha and the omega
I knelt there like one who believes
And like a blessing come from heaven, for something like a second
I was cured, and my heart was at ease

The faintest of lights began to glow outside the small, high window, and he realized that it didn't matter. He already cared for her too deeply to turn away. He'd already trusted her with enough to destroy him. He could only go forward, and he had to pretend that it didn't matter.

She would destroy him, or help him, or maybe both, but he suddenly knew that it didn't matter. The end was in sight, one way or another.

And suddenly, tortured thoughts reaching this inescapable conclusion, Marten sighed and relaxed, and finally, slept.

Oh, baby, I've waited so long for your kiss
For something to happen - something like this.

Her hand raised to his face, and he turned into the caress. He took her hand in his own, looking into the depths of her clear grey eyes as he brushed her fingers with his lips. Carefully, as if she were made of spun glass, he pulled her closer, and nearly wept with joy when the touch of her hair under his hand didn't wake him...